Love...Unconditional Love

I have had so much on my mind lately. Like the kind of stuff that keeps you up at night. I have officially started three blog posts, and have yet to finish any of them because my brain can’t seem to focus on one topic. I just jump around all day long inside of my head, in hopes that one topic will stick so I can finish one of these. Maybe this is the one!

I spend a lot of time with one of the most beautiful creatures on earth, a one-year old named Penelope. I spend at least 40 hours a week with her. She’s quite simple, and yet so complex, all at the same time. She makes me laugh every day, and is more patient than anyone I know. She comes fully equipped with all that, I believe, God has instilled in us and is constantly teaching me some kind of lesson. There is no doubt that she expresses fully what is on her mind…ALL THE TIME.

If she’s upset, I know. If she’s happy, her face scrunches up in the cutest expression. If she loves the music, she dances. If she’s excited, her whole body bounces. If she wants attention, she yells until she gets it. There is never any question as to how she is feeling at any given moment. She finds joy in the simplest of things, and her laugh makes my heart skip a beat. She practices perfect self-expression without any hesitation. She laughs at her own jokes, she disappears behind her own hands, and she always plays innocent when she knows she is doing something she shouldn’t.

Penelope is also the most patient person, as she is always waiting for me to figure out what she really needs. She loves in a way that I only hope to understand someday. This child has a way of expressing unconditional love, and I hope to one day remember fully what it’s like to feel this way. She touches my cheek if she catches me crying (not that that’s ever happened), she climbs into my arms and hugs me when I’m having a horrible day, and she loves me regardless of how I look for the day.

She is determined, persistent, loving, trusting, curious, daring, and she takes risks every day. Most of those risks involve me panicking a little, as she really has no filter for what could be painful on the other side of a decision. She wants it and she goes for it.

I think the biggest question I have to ask myself, is where along the roads of this thing called life did I stop being so child-like? Where did I stop being determined, curious, trusting, and unconditionally loving? When did I decide that I had to be so cautious about what I was thinking, feeling, or wanting? I don’t even express how much I love, appreciate and adore some of the people in my life. I have all of these goals that I want and desire, and there is much to do in order to accomplish them and yet I get in my own way. Penelope never lets anything get in her way…if she can help it and she doesn’t give up without a fight.

So when did it become okay to hold it all in? When did I decide that it wasn’t okay to express myself fully? And who, in my life, are paying prices because I can’t seem to just be who I am. The people that know me and really love me have had the distinct privilege of getting the authentic me. They know my mistakes, my faults, my weaknesses, but above all of that they know my strength, my beauty and the fact that I’m perfectly imperfect.

There’s so much to be learned from Penelope. She’s just who she is, because she doesn’t know how to be anyone else. I guarantee she never ends up as exhausted as I often do. She loves with no fear of what could happen tomorrow.

May I approach each and every day with a little more of the ability to love with my whole heart without fear of what kind of hurt or pain could welcome me, because so much more comes from loving. Love conquers all, and it is the one thing that heals all as well. Besides what if loving myself and those around me, unconditionally, meant that all of my dreams came true? For some reason I think that’s the secret to the formula. I challenge each of you to love as though your life depends on it…because I’m pretty sure it does.